


Please forgive me, I am calling out to you for the last time

by imperialfool



Series: The Playlist Series [3]
Category: Catalyst: A Rogue One Novel - James Luceno, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-18 22:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imperialfool/pseuds/imperialfool
Summary: A series of one-shots based on songs, for different fandoms :)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Now playing: We Have It All - Pim Stones
> 
> Disclamier: I have borrowed a few chosen lines from Catalyst, which I have marked within the story (you can find which chapters I got those from at the end notes). The characters and the settings aren't mine, they are simply borrowed from people more creative than I am.

_Galen exhaled slowly. “We’ll need to work in complete secrecy to avoid any information leaks. No one can know.”_

_“That’s right,” Krennic said soberly. “No one can know.”**_

_Galen inhaled deeply and closed his eyes attempting to remove the image of a destroyed Malpaz. He immediately started to walk away from the viewport, hoping to review his notes in time for their arrival back to Coruscant. But Orson quickly caught his arm before he could leave._

_“I know this isn’t easy, Galen”, Orson moves closer to him so he could look into his eyes, “I just want you know that if you ever need anything, or if you want to talk…”_

_It took him a moment to answer. The weight of what he needed to accomplish to help the Empire achieve peace is slowly crushing him. “I-- of course, Orson. I’m just trying to absorb everything. I almost wished Lyra hadn’t gone...she would know. How to help me cope, I mean”_

_“Tell me how_ I _can help you.” Orson hesitated, but he took one of Galen’s hands in both of his. Galen shut his eyes as tears threatened to fall and he grasped at Orson’s hands tightly as if it were his lifeline, “I don’t want to be alone, right now.”_

_Without much thought, Orson took Galen into his arms and held him tight, “I’m here.”_

* * *

Orson sat in the darkness of his office on Coruscant.

That attack in Eadu completely surprised him, but not Galen’s betrayal. His old friend never worked without feeling the moral and emotional weight of what he was doing, but you can’t really know with geniuses with self-imposed moral hurdles. So every day, even when he thinks Galen has felt completely defeated, he waited.

The ache on his shoulder from the shot Lyra fired reminds him daily of what he had done for the Empire; but it had also reminded him of what he had done to Galen -- his wife killed in front of his eyes, and his daughter lost to him. This is how you break Galen’s spirit.

But there is no masking his feelings for Galen now. When one of the officers informed Orson of his death, it took all of his control not to break down in front of them. He could see them shoot glances at each other, but he collected himself quickly enough to shoo them out. As soon as he was left alone, the dam broke immediately and he cried himself raw.

This is how you break Orson’s will.

“Galen,” he called out in the empty room, “I didn’t thi--- I never thought it would hurt this much”. He never assumed that Galen would ever forgive him for all of the lies he fed him and for what he had done to his family on Lah’mu. He wasn’t a fool he knew that he had doomed whatever it is they had between them when he rescued the Erso’s on Vallt and continued on with his plans to deceive them. But he had hoped he could rekindle a connection with him again, however civil or estranged that relationship was going to be.

He can still remember their conversations when he stayed with Galen in his apartments in the facility, when his wife was still surveying Alpinn. Galen had wanted him there, and by god, did he want to be there, too. One particular night while they were having dinner, he saw Galen looking at him, smiling.

 

_“What? Do I have something on my face?”_

_“Nothing, I just thought I’d never see you be so...domestic”_

_“Since when did having dinner at an appropriate time of the night, in an actual home, be domestic?”_

Galen had burst out laughing and slapped him hard on the back, he couldn’t help but join in.

 _“You know, I should say the same thing to you. I never thought_ you’d _be one to marry. Imagine my surprise when you told me you met someone on Espinar.”_

_“Yes, I was surprised, too. Lyra had coaxed every feeling I shelved and deemed useless out of the dark. It took a while for me to realise that I had fallen in love, but I did, eventually. How about you, I’ve never heard you mention anyone that has caught your attention.”_

At that, Orson had to pause. He was never the kind of man to indulge in feelings that would not further his ambitions. For him, being in a relationship -- or love for that matter -- is way below his list, in fact he thinks it a nuisance. However, he also wouldn’t deny that his feelings of affection may have already surfaced, and it is directed only towards Galen. He is not about to admit that, of course.

_“Well, can you seriously see me in a house like this, a baby on my lap while my partner’s arms are draped around my shoulders? I don’t think I was ever built for domesticity, Galen. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy my time here with you.”_

_“About that...I’m really thankful for this, Orson. Really, you have no idea what your presence here means to me.”_

_“I told you, there are some things you shouldn’t concern yourself with. Let me carry some of the burden.”_

Galen surprised him by taking one of his hands and pulling him in for a hug. He slowly relaxed into it and found himself wrapping his arms around Galen. They held their position for longer than they both expected, each savouring every moment of it. _“Orson_ ,” he heard him say as he felt Galen’s fingers thread through his hair, _“I’ve been meaning to...before I met Lyra, I tried to---”_

Orson pulled away, looked deep into Galen’s eyes, before laying a soft kiss on his forehead. _“I know, Galen.”_

 

He kept his distance when Lyra and Jyn arrived, content with just listening in on their private conversations. Instead, he busied himself with his own operations in Hypori where testing a prototype of the superweapon is well underway. However, he had made the mistake of _conversing_ with Lyra.

 

_“Orson, how do you think Galen would react if he learned about this little chat?”_

_“I’m certain he would understand/”_

_“He might, or he just might feel cornered. He’s his own person, in any case, and whatever_ stress _I introduce isn’t going to cripple his concentration or interfere with his work.”_

_Krennic made his lips a thin line and nodded repeatedly. “Obviously you underestimate your value to him. Which may be for the best.” [2]_

 

The events thereafter happened quickly for him to fully digest it. He only recalled finding no trace of the Ersos, whisked far away from Coruscant, and enduring much humiliation from Mas Amedda and Tarkin. His actions on Lah’mu were a product of the anger that boiled within him all those years while he was searching the galaxy for them.

Every time he visits Eadu, he would find himself walking towards Galen’s quarters; never knocking, just listening in. And every time he would hear something even worse than Galen’s angry tirades -- the clear and unmistakable sound of him weeping.

“Can you hear me?” Orson asks with a new-found desperation, “I--I’m going to call out to you for the last time, Galen, I promise.”

He finally catches his breath, and whispers, “Please, forgive me.”

**Author's Note:**

> [1] From Catalyst by James Luceno, Chapter 19, Closed Interval  
> [2[ From Catalyst by James Luceno, Chapter 22, Exit Wounds


End file.
